12-11-25 03:44 AM
feeling: restless

Can’t sleep. I’ve been in England for about three and a half days now. Still struggling to adjust to the timezone. I slept in until about 2:00 PM, then fell asleep again later from like 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM.

Jem went to bed around 1:00 or 2:00. It’s nearly 4:00 AM now and I’m wide awake still. Been writing some random rambly stuff about trans discourse because it’s been on my mind, but it certainly isn’t the sort of thing to put my mind at ease lol. Kinda starting to feel sleepy, but not enough to actually go to bed. I think I might try to do some stretches and chanting on my mala beads. I need to turn my brain off and zone out for a bit.

Tomorrow we’re going to the high street to do some shopping. Getting out and about will help. I’ve been cooped up in a tiny flat and it isn’t helping. Also, it gets pitch black as early as 4:00 PM here, which is fucking crazy. I thought it was bad enough at 5:00-6:00 back home.

Had some Gregg’s today finally which was nice! Whenever I miss the UK I’m usually jonesing for a sausage roll—or some proper chocolate bars.¹

I always struggle relaxing into a visit. It’s difficult when I’m already preemptively bracing myself to leave. I think it’s almost harder knowing I’ve got three weeks here—that’s so much time to waste, and I fear I’ve already been wasting it by worrying and faffing around. Jem keeps telling me I’ll ease into things, but I dunno.

Hopefully it’s just cabin fever.